Zealously Jealous? Think about it!

So if you've read my blog before you know I love John Mark McMillan's song (hear the story behind the song by clicking here)  called "How He Loves".  I have linked before to David Crowder's version, but in case you missed that...click here to see it.  That song just keeps rolling around in my head - maybe I'm finally figuring out why...

My pastor shared Sunday about zealously serving and being zealous for things that matter, like really matter.  It has me thinking...God IS jealous for me AND zealous about that jealousy.  Let me repeat that.  God is a jealous God, this we read in Exodus, 2 Corinthians and Deuteronomy to name a few places.  But what I'm trying to wrap my head around is that He loves me, little ol' imperfect, haven't quite figured out where I'm going yet, me.  And He loves me zealously.  Seriously!  That's a lot to take in, and even as someone who's been a believer as long as I can remember - that is hard to grasp.  The God of the universe, who made all things, knows all things, even down to the number of hairs on my head - jealously loves me with so much zeal that I can't even begin to comprehend. 

But I am called, as a believer to "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord" Romans 12:11.  The verses that follow speak to how we should live and treat others...what keeps rolling around in my head is this..Not only should I "bless those who persecute me" (personalized for myself from Romans 12:14) - I should do that zealously?  Hmmm...that's an interesting thought - I know God loves me that way...of course He does.  He died on the cross for me, a sinner, and did it willingly.  For me to be zealous about serving, zealous about talking AND walking the walk.  That's a little intimidating, dontcha think?

I've written before about my lack of motivation, my great skills of procrastination and how those things have affected my life.  But I've also been using the mindset that "well, it only affects me...no one else sees my messy bedroom or my dishes in the sink or my...well, you get the idea, right? But it appears as though I have been missing the point.  In Colossians 3:22-23 it says "Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, and do it, not only when their eye is on you, and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.  Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working FOR THE LORD, not for men." (emphasis added by me).  What's that?  I'm supposed to work like someone IS watching even when they aren't? AND do it in reverence to the Lord.  Well dang...guess that means I need an attitude adjustment...now there's a shocker....NOT!  I am the queen of excuses to myself - even though I hate to receive excuses from others...kinda ironic, huh!?!

So, here's what I'm taking from this morning's look at things...Serving the Lord with zeal is an act of submission and out of reverence to Him.  I pray for my life to be less crazy, yet do I really submit myself to helping myself do it? Even if it means asking for help when I'm overwhelmed or saying "no" instead of doing yet one more thing to take me away from the house to avoid the "mess"?  I ask Him to help me be motivated to lose weight, work out more and be comfortable in my own body, yet do I really take the steps that I already know will help in those efforts?  No, if I'm honest, which I am being right now, I don't "want" to do the hard stuff.  I don't want to clean up the kitchen before sitting down in from of the TV for the rest of the night.  I am lacking the zeal.  In the little things as well as some of the big.  But God loves me zealously. In spite of those things. He is jealous for me - and I want to be a witness for Him.  In a world that quite frankly, isn't so zealous for anybody but themselves, generally speaking.  I am called to go tell...go "be the church" as my pastor says at the end of every service on Sunday.  I need to do that with zeal, with passion, with love...I'm going to spend some time in prayer about that. 

If you've read this far, first of all, bless you! Secondly...think about it...How much better would your life be if you were zealously jealous?  Partner with me in prayer - I'm thinking God is going to use this for me in a big way...maybe He will for you too!

Blessings,
S

Frank Friday Feelings

Frank is defined as marked by free, forthright, and sincere expression.  I don't typically have problems being frank, but sometimes I just feel like some things aren't worth the fight.  You know what I mean? Well today, I have some randoms...hence the title of this post!

Frankly,

• I have amended this list and another at the bottom because, well I thought of some more things that frankly,  I wanted to share!
• I have not had the best week, but I am super-de-duper glad it's Friday
• I really wish some of the people in my life would realize that things are not always going to be perfect in any relationship and although things may seem better on the other side of the fence, some decisions will affect you and those around you for the rest of your life. If I could be frank with this person, I would say..."Seriously - put your big girl pants on and act like a grownup" You know, if I could do that and not be a big ol' meanie
• I have not read the first page of my book "Who Do I Lean On" by Neta Jackson for book club tomorrow. I'm sure it's a good book, but I just haven't made time to do it.
• I think dating at 37 is a pain in the butt, just sayin'
• I can't figure out how to work Twitter or to list the blogs I've just started following and I don't have the patience this week to do that
• I haven't uploaded my pictures this week for my project 365, but I have been taking them at least
• I really need to clean some pictures off my laptop because I have almost no free space left
• I should be reading my book instead of working on this post...but procrastination is my friend and well, I just don't feel like reading
• I have to clean my office sometime this weekend because I have to pay bills and I don't even know where some of them are
• I really like the new show "Off the Map" but haven't watched my dvr'd American Idol auditions yet
• We are singing the song "O Praise Him" Check it out HERE on Sunday - and I am TOTALLY loving the song - the syncopation not so much and I thank God for a drummer who can keep me straight on the rhythm
• I need to start hunting for a new car seat for my newest daycare addition, toddler bed mattress to replace the one that has come apart and paint colors for the playroom which is in desperate need of painting
• I feel like my frank post has run amuck, so I'm going to stop now.  I changed my mind. :)
• I think the chick with the cell phone walking through the mall texting and fell into the fountain who is going to sue the mall for not coming to her aid, needs to get a reality check!  I would've have totally helped her if I'd seen her fall, but I can guarantee you I'd have laughed too.  I mean come on...it was funny! What is THAT important that you need to text and walk? Dangers of this - well just watch the video on youtube...there ya go!

Happy Friday all - enjoy the weekend!
S

Overwhelmed, Frustrated and Encouraged

I am absolutely overwhelmed! Not with any one thing, but with a big ol' selection of many things.  I'm frustrated by a cluttered, messy house, dishes that aren't done, clothes not washed, floors not mopped...well you get the idea.  I am also overwhelmed with my lack of motivation to complete everyday tasks and frustrated with my weight loss thus far this year (read that - 0 pounds lost in 18 days).  I just don't know quite what is my problem.  Laziness? Maybe.  Motivation? Definitely NO motivation.  I really just don't know.  Time management has always been a struggle for me and I am very busy, but I can make time to do a little each day. But I don't. And then I get overwhelmed. And then I eat to make myself feel better.  Then I feel bad for blowing my diet.  Yeah, the cycle continues.

I am encouraged because I know no matter what the God loves me. Even in my messy house.  Even though I'm overweight.  He just loves me.  Other relationships come and go in my life and people continue to amaze me with how they treat me and others around them, but I know my God will not forsake me.

I led our women's circle meeting lesson this week and we are discussing the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.  It's a really awesome study so far of the magnitude of God's love for us.  Chapter 3 discussed many things but the main point was a picture I can't get out of my mind of God, the Father, being MY Father.  My earthly father passed away 15 years ago next month and I don't think I've quite come to grips with how much God DESIRES that relationship with me that I had with my dad.  The familiarity, running to Him when I'm hurt, sad, angry...His arms are always open wide.  His lap ready for me to crawl into and have a good ol' ugly cry if I need to.  He wants that.  I need that.  Praying for a better understanding and for letting me allow myself to let go and trust Him.  Completely.  To do what He has planned for me!

I'm not sure why I'm in a continued funk, but I sure do wish I could get motivated to dig my way out.  Discipline and motivation issues aside, I have GOT to figure out how to move forward on the things I desire.

I visited a friends church this week and heard (yet another) song I hadn't before and I just love it.  Here's the link (The Stand - Hillsong United). I think you'll be blessed too!  I especially LOVE the end part about standing with arms high and heart abandoned to Him!!

I'll update my Project 365 later today....

Have a blessed day
S

Wednesday Ramblings

This has been a crazy week!  Snow and ice out the wazoo, daycare schedule all whacked out, last day for Aanais (whom I didn't get to see on her last day due to snow and ice), first day for Collin and a housefull of boys on a Wednesday.

Four boys to be exact.  Jude, Tanner, Connor and Collin...and every one of them is ALL boy.  This is a new chapter in my daycare, having never had more boys than girls at any given time.  I'm looking forward to more cars and trucks, two more rounds of boy potty training and of course hugs and kisses!

The snow and ice has finally begun to melt and we are supposed to make it to a whopping 42 degrees today, which is almost a heat wave!  I have not left the house since Sunday and I admit, I'm getting a little bit of cabin fever.

We've had several serious prayer requests from church families this morning, so I've been praying for them and ask you to do the same if you feel so inclined.

I need to upload my last few days of Project 365 and will do that while the boys sleep today.  I need to check out some other blogger's pages and see how they are doing theirs because I'm already losing track of how many pics I've posted.

My cousin Summer is nearing her delivery date and I absolutely cannot wait to see what their little princess looks like!  She has her own blog if you'd like to mosey on over and check it out as well... http://www.summernicolephotography.com/blog/

I'm still procrastinating about the final touches on my "Crazy Love" lesson for my women's group on Monday (rescheduled a week due to the weather - a procrastinator's helpmate...lol)  I have enjoyed the chapter, but am still a little unsure how to get some discussion going about the chapter.  I did find a helpful handout online that had some discussion starters on it, so I may use some of that.  I'll share what I come up with.  It's really a great book...check it out!

Well I've rambled on long enough.  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

S

Monday Moment and Random Thoughts

• Only had one "moment" that I remembered to document this week
• Tanner has developed a tendency to pocket small things that aren't discovered missing until days later...after looking for 35 minutes for Gracyn's game, making him help us look...I randomly said..."Tanner...WHERE is Gracyn's leapster game"...innocently, but with a giggle...he says "in my pocket"...sure enough...there it was...Help a Nannie out, whydontcha???
• We had snow again today...I mean REAL snow...in little ol' NC...I ended up with about 5 inches before the sleet and freezing rain started...here's a pic from early in the day - just gorgeous! 

And today was the first day for a new addition in my house...and tomorow will be one of my children's last days!  I feel like I'm on a merry go round with all of the kids coming and going these days at my house!  I'm definitely going to miss Aanais...I feel like I was just getting to the fun times...but I wish them well!

Here's the newest addition...he's a cutie patootie!

The kids had no school today and none tomorrow either, so we'll just have to see what fun stuff happens !  Have a great week everyone! 

S

Weekend Warrior

Do you ever look at your weekend and go..."ACK...I'll never get all that done in 2 days!!!"??? Well that's my weekend, this weekend.  Tonight I have dinner with a close family friend for her belated birthday, tomorrow we are scrapbooking from 9 to 5, and I think I have tomorrow night off.  Sunday is church from 9am to 12ish, praise team meeting/practice at 2:30 and Boundaries book club at 6:30.  Somewhere in there, I have to do laundry, wash dishes, cook for Saturday's meal and dessert, get ready for the new baby that comes on Monday, go to the grocery store and prepare my Women's circle meeting lesson that I have to teach on Monday!  Yikes...how do I get myself into these messes???

Not every weekend is like this, but at least once a month they seem to be.  And I'll be glad when this one is in the books!  I've done failry well with blog posts and taking pictures for my Project 365...I'll upload some new ones after I publish this post.

As for the other "goals" for 2011 in this post yeah, not so much!  Oh well...I did okay on #5, having made some new friends on blog frog!

I'll do better next week, maybe :)

Have a great weekend everyone,
S

Changes, Redirection and Readjustments

I am a creature of habit.  Seriously.  I really kinda hate change.  I like the concept of it, but the actuality of relearning or readjusting something I am used to, especially if I like it, just aggravates me.  My job, which I love usually, is making me kinda nuts these days.  Not the kids, they are cute as ever, the boys are taking over and I'm just trying to keep them from tearing the house down.  In the past year and a half I have had more changes in families than in all of my 14 years of home child care and it is just not fun!  Beginning in the winter of 2009, some of my long time families have gone in different directions for many varying reasons, causing me to be more fluid and ready to redirect in terms of those I am caring for.  And I don't do that well.  I understand that layoffs happen, jobs get transferred and family needs shift.  I just feel like I'm in a whirlwind and can't figure out which way is up and when in the world it's going to stop. 

Right now, I have one family who has been been gone for over a year and still owes me money,  one family with the mom on temporary layoff, one family who's first day is next Monday, one family who's last day is next Tuesday and four days over a two day rotation that I need to fill with a part time family that I haven't found yet.  Head spinning yet? Yeah, mine too.  I have some figurin' to do as my grandmother would say. 

2011 is a year I am determined to get on a positive path for my life professionally and personally as well.  Setbacks like I've had recently make me wonder if God is trying to gently nudge me in a different direction and I'm just missing the memo!  My personal life has been a little weird for a while...dating at 37, well, it's just not fun, at least not for me.  I miss the good ol' days when my whole life was ahead of me and if I spent six months (or two years) with someone who ended up being a goober, then no big deal...I feel like the clock is ticking...and I really just want to have someone to spend my life with.  I have come to grips with many things in my life that may not turn out like I want them to, but being alone is certainly not one of them.

So, change is happening, whether I want it to or not.  So I've got to adjust and get ready for the newest chapter in my life.  I am praying that I can make a difference in the world around me this year, so if that means being a little flexible, then I'll just have to work on that.

Happy Tuesday All,
S

Monday Moments Take One

So the first Monday of the year...expectations are high, resolutions still intact (for the most part, anyway)...and positive outlook in place.

I am creating a series of posts called "Monday Moments" in which I jot down random happenings, funny quotes from my life and just whatever happens to strike me as something I'd like to share.  So here goes...in no particular order...Monday Moments!

• My scale reading was unkind to me this morning...I wasn't suprised, but it still hurt nonetheless
• Christmas tree is down, front porth and wreaths, sit around items are on task for later today; Tanner tells me as I take the branches off the tree.  "You're doing a good job Nannie! All by yourself" Thanks Tanner :)
• I am currently listening to naptime music play, hearing Tanner coughing, and enjoying my last couple of minutes of naptime before I have to get the kids up
• I've eaten 3 lindor truffles today so far...yep, me who is supposedly trying to be healthier...ugh!
• I've also eaten a Reese's tree, but surely I wouldn't admit that after the previous bullet, I mean WHO does that?
• I've begun using Google Calendar, only to find out how busy I am and no wonder why I am so tired lazy when I'm home (the purpose of organization was to free up time, but I'm overwhelmed just looking at the calendar)

I think that's all for now, but I reserve the right to edit later.  In the weeks to come, I'll be working on this post all week and will schedule it for Monday morning.

Love and blessings to you all,
Stephanie

New Year, New Perspective

I am not a huge fan of new year's resolutions, mainly because they seem to be made to be broken.  Of course, it may just be my lack of commitment busy schedule that keeps me from doing what I resolve to do.  Either way, I just can't seem to get it together when it comes to resolutions.  That doesn't mean that I don't have things I want to do differently in 2011, because I certainly do! So to humor myself, and maybe even those reading this, here's the list I've come up with so far...you know...in a perfect world.

1. Lose weight.  Duh.  No shocker there
2. Work harder to get (and keep) a cleaner, less cluttered house
3. Be more organized, mainly with paperwork, work records, things like that
4. Exercise on a regular schedule.  Hmm, that might help with number one, ya think?
5. Blog regularly, making an effort to reach out and make new friends in the blogging world
6. Realize that some things, no matter how much I want them to happen, just won't...disappointment is not serving a purpose in my life, other than making me comfort eat junk and feel like crap!
7. Project 365 is on my to do list...not sure if it's a resolution or not, but there ya go
8. Realize that only I can do the things in my life that have to be done.  With God's help, all things are possible.
9. Clean up my finances, organize bills better, work towards debt reduction
10. Not turn to food, when 1-9 don't happen, I mean really!

New Year's at the Campground

I am blessed to be bringing in the new year at the campground and so far, we've had a blast!  Good food, good friends and great weather.  My official New Year's post will be shared later, I'm still fine tuning it :)

Every single time I leave the camper, my two four legged children have a meltdown...can you see the panic in their eyes?  Oh no, mom might be leaving us!!!!

Fire going, snacks cooking, adult beverages all around...and a Nesquick for Klay (ha!)

Charades and other games around the fire, waiting for the new year to ring in.