Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday Musing

Today has been a bit of a blur, but I wanted to sit and write out a few thoughts while they were rolling around in my head.  We met with our doctor for a little over an hour on Friday and were so thankful for the time to ask questions and get some well needed answers.  We found out that we CAN take some time off to regroup financially, emotionally and physically since my ovarian reserve number was normal.  We found out that my doctor would request a picture of the storage vials our embryos are in so that we can have that prior to their disposal and he will refund us the money we paid for the new month of storage due to the delay in getting back with us.  I am so relieved at both of these.  One, we need some down time to get back to life as we knew it for a bit, lose some weight (feritlity drugs have my already "fluffy" body in extreme fluff mode and to take some time to pray about our options moving forward.  I am so thankful that we will have a picture of the embryos to hold onto and remember those two IVF cycles, even though they didn't go on to become viable options for transfer.  Anyone who has been through assisted reproduction will probably understand the need for closure after a failed cycle.  So for now, I am breathing a sigh of relief.  Now we pray.  And get back on a healthy eating plan and walking again.  And pray some more.
 
Yesterday one of our worship leaders sang the song "Changed" by Rascal Flatts...what a cool thing to be a part of a church that can do stuff like that...and what a great song.  You can watch the video here and the words are below.  We all fall short of perfection, right?  I thank God for His grace and mercy and willingness to meet us where we are.  Some days we just need a reminder. So here's one for you!
 
Blessings,
Stephanie :-)
 
I came up out of the water
Raised my hands up to the Father
Gave it all to him that day
Felt a new wind kiss my face
Walked away, Eyes wide open
Could finally see where I was going
It didn't matter where I'd been
I'm not the same man I was then

I got off track, I made mistakes
Back slid my way into that place where souls get lost
Lines get crossed
and the pain won’t go away
I hit my knees, Now here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Here I am
Changed

I got a lot of “Hey, I’m sorry”s
The things I’ve done
Man, that was not me
I wish that I could take it all back
I just want to tell em’ that
Tell 'em that

I got off track, I made mistakes
Back slid my way into that place where souls get lost
Lines get crossed
and the pain won’t go away
I hit my knees, Now here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Here I am

I'm changed for the better
More smiles, less bitter
I'm even starting to forgive myself

I hit my knee, I’m here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Here I am, Here I am, Here I am
Changed
Yes I am
I’m changed for the better.
Thank God I'm changed.
 

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