Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Faith to Keep Moving

Isn't it interesting how you have a mountain top day, week, month...and then just as quickly the valley is staring you right in the face? Ugh! I am very blessed with a roof over my head, a job, family and friends who love me and a wonderful church. So why am I in the valley? I'm not so sure. I know that God is in control. Don't doubt it at all. Really. Am I not quite cluing in to God's plan? Feels that way. I have been stepping out of my comfort zone and in faith that God will show me the path He has for me. Then I feel like maybe my "listening ears" must be turned off.

I know that God shows us the mountain top view so that we can weather the valley experiences - I think I feel a little like I'm on a see-saw these days. And I don't like it. Maybe it's God's plan, maybe it's just stubborness on my part that I'm causing myself more pain in my disobedience. All I know is prayer is the only thing that's making sense. Duh! you say? Isn't that the obvious option for someone who spends as much time at church as me? Not necessarily. I do pray. Not as often or as dedicated as I'd like to. My struggle is waiting for the Lord's answer. I tend to jump ahead, planning, calculating the next step instead of being still and letting God do His work. Lots easier to type than to do. For me, anyway. I get focused on what I think I "want" and everything else goes by the wayside. Like everything. Cleaning house, paying bills, laundry, you know the everyday stuff. I want to fix my current obsession, whether it be a relationship, my current quest to lose weight, etc. - you get the idea.

Faith that God is in control and that He will wrap His arms around me when I fail. Again. Like, seriously, again and again. I have been known to be stubborn and passionate about things in my life, and sometimes that can be good. When I'm supposed to be submitting to the will of God, not so much. I do have faith that God will see me through, he won't abandon me in my time of need. I just have to turn to Him. He wants that relationship with me, for real. He loves me, THAT much. He is jealous for me.

My prayer for today is to let the Lord settle my mind and heart. Let Him take the situations in my life and work through them. Even though I just don't see how that's gonna work - it's not really my job to do it. I am going to be faithful to praying about it, that's what He asks us to do.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Lord. I'm. Amazed. by. You.

I stand in awe of the amazing things that God is doing in my life these days. Not that any one thing is earth shatteringly big, but all the little, although very personal, ways that He is blessing me put together make for some pretty awesome changes in my life.

This past weekend we had a wonderful sharing time at the end of our book club meeting that was very blessed. God allowed us to share our hearts, ask for prayer and become more intimate with our fellow sisters in Christ. I was truly touched by the outpouring of support that I saw and was offered and I'm just so excited to see the Lord working in and through us at CCH...just an amazing time.

I relate most things in my spiritual life in a roundabout way through music, not just in the lyrics of a song, but just a little melody line that might play over and over in my head. Reading a bible verse that's been made into a song, I'll always sing along to it as I'm reading. Surely I'm not the only one who does that, right? Yesterday our praise team sang the song "Amazed" (check out one of the many versions on youtube by clicking http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEaD8NTrLJQ) It just really resonates with me about how amazing God is. Just IS. He doesn't have to be, nobody is forcing Him, He just loves us THAT much. I can't even imagine the love He has for us. One of the lines says "How wide, how deep, how great is Your love for me" ... we can't even put a measurement on it - nor would we want to. God offers us our salvation, doesn't force us to make a decision, but welcomes us boldly into a relationship with Him if we accept it.

I've been a Christian my whole life. Never really knew a life outside of the church. But my personal relationship with God was dependent for the most part on my parents and what I was told to do. I've always believed in God, but until the last few years, I'm not sure how much of my relationship with Him was real, like really for REAL. I have become very focused on "relearning" what I'm sure I've learned in my 36 years through my own eyes, much of it feeling like the first time I've ever read it. And maybe it is. All I'm certain of is that God is doing a work within me that I am absolutely sinking deep into. Allowing His grace and mercy to envelope all that I am, all that I do and say, and all that my future is to hold.

I've taken some bold steps of faith recently and we'll see how all that plays out in the coming weeks, but I do know that God is in control and I can do anything THROUGH HIM. Phillipians 4:13 is a commonly quoted verse stating "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" ...but it has taken on some new meaning for me. He desires to be my all in all, my strength and guide through this crazy life. It's not always easy or automatic or makes sense to me, but I know that I am taking my faith and holding on tight to it, while letting go of my control on the things in my life and letting God guide me down the paths that I should take.

I'm amazed. How He loves me.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Random Monday Thoughts...

This past weekend was pretty uneventful as far as most of my weekends go. Sunday was the busiest day, no suprise there, but all in all it ended up being a nice relaxing couple of days.

I am gearing up for a pretty crazy week, with something going on every single night...YUCK! However, tonight is our first discussion of the "Crazy Love" book by Francis Chan at our women's meeting at church. You can check it out here http://www.crazylovebook.com/ I am looking very much forward to this discussion and reading through this book...it's looks really good so far!

I'm praying for my friend Randy, who is in Peru on a missions trip until the 17th - this is the latest in his many trips...he's actually a pretty amazing person. So if you read this and feel so inclined... Pray away...they could always use more prayer warriors!

Didn't have Boundaries study last night due to some conflicts, illness and some out of town folks...so I'll have to read ahead this week...God is moving and changing me through this study...I highly recommend it to everyone...you should check it out. Yeah YOU!...seriously - you won't be sorry.

Pool was closed today, signifying the real end of summer around here, except that the weather apparently didn't get the memo that it's October 11th because it's in the upper 80's all week this week.

The Lord is teaching me new things everyday and showing me that if I will be obedient, He will direct my paths, even in the small stuff. I really long for a deeper relationship with Him and I feel like I may actually be taking the steps in that direction that have been a LONG time coming. I can't ever remember not believing in God or thinking I would go to heaven if something should ever happen to me, but I do feel that now, at age 36 (well almost 37, but who's counting, right?) I am finally digging deep and trying to listen and follow the way I've learned and known about all along. That's not to say I've not been serving Him over the years, because I most certainly have, but as far as being faithful, honoring and exalting THE King of Kings...I find myself wondering what in the world was I thinking with some of the decisions I've made over the years. Prayer and bible study time don't come as natural as I would like, so I have to make mental notes to remind myself throughout the day, but I hope with time that will give way to being second nature like I know it should be.

Well that's some pretty random stuff there, but there you have it. Praying for all who have passed by this post and for those in my life who need prayers whether they admit it or not. Blessings :)