I am a southern girl by birth and a child of God by His grace. My story has had twists and turns and if you clicked this tab for the abridged version, I'm afraid it's not here...I share it because it's important to me, it's my life in all its good time and bad. I stand amazed at the path my life has taken and I'm not ashamed to say I've made many wrong decisions along the way. I don't ever remember not knowing about God, there's not a day that I can recall thinking "wow, there IS a God". I had parents who took me to church, who loved the Lord with all their heart and encouraged and expected me to do the same. I can't say that my faith hasn't been shaken at times, just wondering WHY in the world this is happening to me, but through it all I know that God has plans for me and I long to hear one day "Well done my good and faithful servant"
I grew up in a small southern town that's seen a huge amount of growth over the years. We moved here when I started kindergarten and my sister was just a baby and I actually still live in the house I grew up in. My dad and uncle owned a real estate company in town and my mom was a pediatric nurse until my sister was born and then quit working to become a full time mom. We were very involved in church and community activities growing up and I still maintain that to this day. We had a pretty typical family growing up I'd say. Piano lessons, dance classes - all the usual stuff. My mom started caring for children in our home in the winter of 1991.
I graduated high school waaaay back in 1992 and studied Business at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and received a degree in Marketing in 2004. Yeah, it took a while, but I'm done and no one can ever take my degree away from me and for that I'll always be proud. In 1993 I met my (now ex) husband and life seemed to be on a normal track: go to school, get married, have kids, you know...regular everyday living. Only that was not the way it ended up.
In 1996 I lost both my parents, my dad in February and my mom in October, both to random causes of death (I'll spare you the details ~ you're welcome) and both way too young. My sister graduated from high school that year and was just 18 when we were suddenly orphans. Both adults, but neither completely prepared for what would come next, and indeed felt abandoned. I felt the responsibility to take the role as full time income provider and took some time off from school as my sister was starting college that fall and took over my mom's daycare business, both because it was an easy transition for the kids, who we had grown to love as family and because it was safe. I could be at home, didn't have to run into yet one more person who said "I can't believe your parents are really gone, you poor thing". Yeah I got that. It sucks. Trust me. So one day turned into two turned into month and then a couple of years and I was still putting one foot in front of the other, keeping a happy face on and just 'making do' the best I could. We were very fortunate to be left in a financial position that allowed us to stay in our home and not be worried about money at the time. In 1999, I got married. I loved him, I really did and part of me will always. But I think I wanted something so bad to call my own, to feel something real so badly, that I convinced myself that marriage was the answer. I don't know exactly when we both realized that it was just not working, but before that point, it was ugly. Yelling, screaming, calling names ugly. I felt like such a failure and couldn't have felt further from God, even after the death of my parents. We separated in 2002 and divorced in early 2005 I think, I'll be honest I'd have to get the paper work out to tell you for sure. We just couldn't make up our minds what to do. We loved each other, but there had been so much damage done...we just couldn't see any way to fix it. He is remarried now and has a little boy. We still talk from time to time to catch up and are much better friends than we were husband and wife and I am so very thankful for that.
Since my parents death and my divorce, I'll be honest, I've struggled. I've gone to church, been active in different ministries, been involved with my life. But almost felt like I was a spectator. I'm not sure that I can explain it, but I feel like so much time has passed and I've missed out on so much. In the spring of 2010 I began a bible study through a book called "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend, which I HIGHLY recommend. It's a tough book, and if you answer honestly, I'll bet it will be life changing for you as it was for me...God's timing for the lessons discussed and the work He had begun in me set the stage for some great personal growth and fantastic spiritual rededication to following God's plan for my life no matter where it may lead . About that same time I reconnected with RC on Facebook and the Lord began a great work in my heart and life to guide us together. Through many months of prayer and seeking counsel from my bible study group and just letting the Lord lead, God showed RC and I that we were indeed intended to be together. We were married in December 2011. My God is SO BIG...I just don't have the words for how blessed I am...He has plans for us that even I can't understand yet! I have a great group of friends and family who surround me. My sister is successfully employed and makes a great living and I feel like I had a hand in that way back when. I am definitely blessed. I am also a work in progress, a piece of clay still being molded. I absolutely can't wait to see what the coming months and years are going to be like! God is SO good! :)
This blog has become a way to share, to document and to remember in writing what has happened in my life. Some of the memories aren't so good while others I'll cherish as long as I live. I pray that all who visit here will leave encouraged or informed even have a laugh at my expense. It's okay. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.
Blessings to you and your family,
Stephanie
