Holiday Blues

I love the Christmas season.  I really do.  And usually by now I have the tree up, the porch decorated and a smattering of décor throughout the house.  This morning I sit with fall decorations just taken down last night, storage tubs still sitting behind the couch and two more floral arrangements and wreath to dismantle and find a home for.  No Christmas in sight.

I have actually bought a few presents already, and the Christmas music has been playing in the car and around the house.  But for some reason, I am just not in the Christmas mood yet.  I am pretty sure it has to do with how overwhelmed I feel at the moment with everything in my life that "needs" to be done with the limited amount of hours I have between now and the end of the year to do them.

I miss my daycare kids and the holiday traditions we had, decorating the tree, making silly crafts for them to give to their parents...I recently saw a reindeer hand we made one year on a Christmas tree picture posted on Instagram and it made me smile, but also a little sad too.  Sad because I want that for our family...a child to have traditions with, to share our story with, pass our history on to. 

Maybe that isn't God's plan for me, or His timing isn't exactly what I had hoped.  This is yet to be seen.  I am just not in the let's decorate it with glitter and bows and pretend it's all okay place today.  Or yesterday. Or last week.  Well, you get the point.

I have been mulling over this passage of scripture from Hebrew 19:13 and following.  Trying to focus on the promises of God to never leave me nor forsake me and work things for His good in my life.  So that's where I leave it for today.  Praying that God's direction and plan for my life will be the forefront this Christmas season.  And everyday beyond that.

The Certainty of God's Promise

¹³ For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one greater by whom to swear, he swore by himself, ¹⁴ saying, “Surely I will bless you and multiply you.” ¹⁵ And thus Abraham,^[b] having patiently waited, obtained the promise. ¹⁶ For people swear by something greater than themselves, and in all their disputes an oath is final for confirmation. ¹⁷ So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, ¹⁸ so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. ¹⁹ We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, ²⁰ where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.