I have actually bought a few presents already, and the Christmas music has been playing in the car and around the house. But for some reason, I am just not in the Christmas mood yet. I am pretty sure it has to do with how overwhelmed I feel at the moment with everything in my life that "needs" to be done with the limited amount of hours I have between now and the end of the year to do them.
I miss my daycare kids and the holiday traditions we had, decorating the tree, making silly crafts for them to give to their parents...I recently saw a reindeer hand we made one year on a Christmas tree picture posted on Instagram and it made me smile, but also a little sad too. Sad because I want that for our family...a child to have traditions with, to share our story with, pass our history on to.
Maybe that isn't God's plan for me, or His timing isn't exactly what I had hoped. This is yet to be seen. I am just not in the let's decorate it with glitter and bows and pretend it's all okay place today. Or yesterday. Or last week. Well, you get the point.
I have been mulling over this passage of scripture from Hebrew 19:13 and following. Trying to focus on the promises of God to never leave me nor forsake me and work things for His good in my life. So that's where I leave it for today. Praying that God's direction and plan for my life will be the forefront this Christmas season. And everyday beyond that.