If you've been around a while on my blog, you know I've struggled with infertility and undergone many months of treatment only to end up in debt and definitely NOT pregnant. We completed two cycles of stimulating drugs, egg retrieval and the awful waiting game. In the end we had two embryos that survived the required amount of days, and at our doctor's encouragement due to my age, we had the embryos tested for chromosomal abnormalities that come with older eggs. We found out that both were "incompatible with life" and almost certainly wouldn't become viable pregnancies or end in early miscarriages. The day I had to walk into that clinic with legal paperwork to "dispose" of my embryos was a day I wouldn't wish on anyone...I don't have words for how awful it was.
I have several friends who have been or still are in varying stages of building their family, either through infertility treatments or adoption. We have often commented that we could write a book and what NOT to say to someone undergoing treatments or trying to adopt. My all time favorite is still - if you just quit worrying about it and just have fun "trying" you'll get pregnant. Well, here's how I know that's not true. I had surgery to remove two damaged fallopian tubes and it's medically impossible for me to "just" get pregnant. And sometimes, even that explanation doesn't quite click. *sigh*. Why didn't I "just" think of that. Be calm, do some yoga, take some deep breaths - who needs fallopian tubes anyway, right?
Another doozy is why don't you "just" adopt. Well, let's see. Adoption isn't any cheaper than IVF when it's all said and done. There aren't any blue light specials on aisle four for babies that I know of. Adoption is more than just saying - I want a baby and the stork appears with your request. If only it were that easy!
With my friend Erica's permission I want to share her recent post There is No "Just" in Adoption because it's everything I think and more. She recently became a momma to a sweet little guy and I couldn't be happier for them. I'd love for you to follow along in their story - it's been awesome to watch God work in their lives!
If you're a parent, either through birth or adoption - you understand the joys your children have brought your family. If you're still praying and longing for a child - know that I "get" that. I stand alongside you in the wait. You're not alone and I'll never think well you know if you "just" do this, take that or quit this or that - you'll end up pregnant. Only God knows the way your life will unfold and His plan is ultimately perfect for you, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. If you're the friend of someone longing to have a child, don't allow yourself to get caught up in the suggestion game. I promise you - we've googled, asked our doctors and read it all - love on them, pray for them, listen TO them, cry with them, laugh with them, whatever they need! We will cherish your friendship if you do!
Have a great Wednesday folks!