Isn't it interesting how you have a mountain top day, week, month...and then just as quickly the valley is staring you right in the face? Ugh! I am very blessed with a roof over my head, a job, family and friends who love me and a wonderful church. So why am I in the valley? I'm not so sure. I know that God is in control. Don't doubt it at all. Really. Am I not quite cluing in to God's plan? Feels that way. I have been stepping out of my comfort zone and in faith that God will show me the path He has for me. Then I feel like maybe my "listening ears" must be turned off.
I know that God shows us the mountain top view so that we can weather the valley experiences - I think I feel a little like I'm on a see-saw these days. And I don't like it. Maybe it's God's plan, maybe it's just stubborness on my part that I'm causing myself more pain in my disobedience. All I know is prayer is the only thing that's making sense. Duh! you say? Isn't that the obvious option for someone who spends as much time at church as me? Not necessarily. I do pray. Not as often or as dedicated as I'd like to. My struggle is waiting for the Lord's answer. I tend to jump ahead, planning, calculating the next step instead of being still and letting God do His work. Lots easier to type than to do. For me, anyway. I get focused on what I think I "want" and everything else goes by the wayside. Like everything. Cleaning house, paying bills, laundry, you know the everyday stuff. I want to fix my current obsession, whether it be a relationship, my current quest to lose weight, etc. - you get the idea.
Faith that God is in control and that He will wrap His arms around me when I fail. Again. Like, seriously, again and again. I have been known to be stubborn and passionate about things in my life, and sometimes that can be good. When I'm supposed to be submitting to the will of God, not so much. I do have faith that God will see me through, he won't abandon me in my time of need. I just have to turn to Him. He wants that relationship with me, for real. He loves me, THAT much. He is jealous for me.
My prayer for today is to let the Lord settle my mind and heart. Let Him take the situations in my life and work through them. Even though I just don't see how that's gonna work - it's not really my job to do it. I am going to be faithful to praying about it, that's what He asks us to do.