Guidance, Preparation and Submission

Whew...that's a big title...however it is very fitting for where I am this morning.  Over the last year or so, I have had time to reflect, grow and learn more about myself.  But that's where I'm 'stuck' now...for lack of a better term.  I have such a flood of emotions on my heart and mind right now and I'm a little overwhelmed, I'll be honest.  I know that God is with me and I am not fearful of the future, but am focusing rather on praying for guidance and preparing my heart for what God's plan is...ohhhh how simple that sounds!  But submission to God's plan isn't always that easy, right?

Feeling undeserving of God's blessings, unprepared to use what I know (and what I don't) to make a difference in someone else's life is doubt that I know doesn't come from Him.  I found the verse this morning in Matthew 28:16-20 (The Message Bible versions shown here) that says....

16-17Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.
18-20Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age."

I am praying about taking my first mission trip in October with RC and a group from his church.  I have often thought about participating in a mission trip - and haven't had the actual opportunity to do it yet.  Now that the chance is here, I find myself kinda scared and filled with doubt if I would actually be prepared and able to be a vessel to deliver God's word in Peru.  Matthew 28 tells me that God is with me...and I know this...in my head...my heart however...is lagging a bit.  I want to participate for the right reasons and because God has called to do it, not just because RC would be there and it would be amazing to share that with him.  But I don't think I need to separate that from it either, because that IS part of the reason why THIS opportunity is a big decision!  The desire of my heart is follow HIM where HE leads...and I've been feeling a little like a bystander in my life for a while...and I really feel the pull to make some changes and STEP OUT IN FAITH.  Whew...my emotions are all over the place and this post reads a little like a mess...but if you take anything away from this...I pray it is this...

Prayer is NEVER a bad thing....even if you aren't sure exactly what you are praying for!  God is always there for us.  Even if we're a big ol' mess.  He loves us THAT much!  I just heard this song while I was listening to the radio online...and I just HAD to share it...I could've written it...wow...God's timing...whew!  Give it a listen! There is an annoying commercial at the beginning, but this is a great video!

You Love Me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets

With that....I'm off to enjoy the last day of my vacation. Blessings to you and your family!

S