I am absolutely overwhelmed! Not with any one thing, but with a big ol' selection of many things. I'm frustrated by a cluttered, messy house, dishes that aren't done, clothes not washed, floors not mopped...well you get the idea. I am also overwhelmed with my lack of motivation to complete everyday tasks and frustrated with my weight loss thus far this year (read that - 0 pounds lost in 18 days). I just don't know quite what is my problem. Laziness? Maybe. Motivation? Definitely NO motivation. I really just don't know. Time management has always been a struggle for me and I am very busy, but I can make time to do a little each day. But I don't. And then I get overwhelmed. And then I eat to make myself feel better. Then I feel bad for blowing my diet. Yeah, the cycle continues.
I am encouraged because I know no matter what the God loves me. Even in my messy house. Even though I'm overweight. He just loves me. Other relationships come and go in my life and people continue to amaze me with how they treat me and others around them, but I know my God will not forsake me.
I led our women's circle meeting lesson this week and we are discussing the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It's a really awesome study so far of the magnitude of God's love for us. Chapter 3 discussed many things but the main point was a picture I can't get out of my mind of God, the Father, being MY Father. My earthly father passed away 15 years ago next month and I don't think I've quite come to grips with how much God DESIRES that relationship with me that I had with my dad. The familiarity, running to Him when I'm hurt, sad, angry...His arms are always open wide. His lap ready for me to crawl into and have a good ol' ugly cry if I need to. He wants that. I need that. Praying for a better understanding and for letting me allow myself to let go and trust Him. Completely. To do what He has planned for me!
I'm not sure why I'm in a continued funk, but I sure do wish I could get motivated to dig my way out. Discipline and motivation issues aside, I have GOT to figure out how to move forward on the things I desire.
I visited a friends church this week and heard (yet another) song I hadn't before and I just love it. Here's the link (The Stand - Hillsong United). I think you'll be blessed too! I especially LOVE the end part about standing with arms high and heart abandoned to Him!!
I'll update my Project 365 later today....
Have a blessed day